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August 27, 2000


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The Journallers have fallen silent, their records of life passing into the night. This will be my first entry in almost a month. It puts me ahead of Bill, who hasn't updated since the sixteenth of July. Even Gina, the Weblogger Extraordinaire, has let her blogs fall to nothingness.

I explained that it was summer, and that has a lot to do with it, but more than summer it's also life. The more active life becomes, the less able we are to journal. In the early days of a journal, this isn't true. After all, when you do exciting things, you want to tell everyone. You want to fill your journal with the tidbits that prove, conclusively, that you have an exciting life. Proof that you're not some faceless loser who spends all his time on his computer.

Well, these days, I prove that I don't spend all my time on a computer by actually not spending time on the computer. And, utilizing time to exercise (my daily walk is now a necessity) and not to eat (draconian measures engaged!), I find myself not disposed to sitting inside on a nice day, and certainly not to spend a lot of time on this kind of writing.

On other types of writing? Absolutely. I've been playing with an angelic universe that has nothing to do with In Nomine, and it's led me to the interesting revelation that I can write about Judeo-Christian themes without Steve Jackson Games's permission. It's easy to forget that. I'm still interested in In Nomine, mind, but I'm finding a lot of freedom in writing about my own angels who are doing their own thing.

It, in turn, is leading to other writing. I'm feeling my creative work flowing well. It must have something to do with losing weight.

So, you're asking, that's all fine and good, but how's the old heart problem? How'm I actually doing with all this?

I finally have a definitive answer to that. See, in the last several weeks, I've done lots of stuff, including a trip to Baltimore (including the Baltimore Aquarium, which rocked) and Washington, D.C. (including the Smithsonian Institution). All perfect journal fodder, and I'll try to describe things that happened in those places over the next few days. But for now... I finally had my follow-up echocardiogram, where we'd learn if the beta blockers and ACE inhibitors and blood thinners and diuretics and the like were doing any real, lasting good or if they were just making me feel better in my symptoms.

It's been interesting, in part because a few years ago, these pharmaceutical therapies didn't exist. There was, well, heart transplants. So even though I'm far from the first treated under these methods, there's still some question as to how and why they work the way they have, and when they'll be effective and when they won't.

And in my case? They're effective. Very effective. My blood ejection fraction has more than doubled. My enlarged heart chambers have greatly shrunk, to the point that they're almost (but not quite) normal. Not quite being in a millimeter's range or so. So, a mile or more's walk a day isn't as big a deal as once it might have been.

What does it mean in practical terms?

Well, I still have Cardiomyopathy. I always will, I expect. But in terms of my health and body?

It mean's I'm all right. I'm honestly all right.

I'm going to live!

So hah. Neener. More later.

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